Ideal Man

She finds her ideal man
While on the road to apology,
That he's like the others
Will be her latest discovery;
No one but she understands
How it is to be alone and cold,
But is it an absolute necessity
To have your dignity sold;
Your body tatooed with bruises
Resulting from an undying urge,
Then you sing a song of regret
And your pride becomes submerged;
You've been singing it for years
Trying desperately to pay the dues,
The bill, though, keeps running up
And so goes on payments of abuse.

She finds her ideal man
Always with a clenched fist,
She wants her life to change
But he's so hard to resist;
" Pleasure and pain are as one "
She says, taking the blame,
" Our guilt and our love are
Exposed as one in the same ";
She studies scrapbook of scars
Going all the way to her youth,
She finds the line connecting
While playing an amatuer sleuth;
She continues playing her games
Occasionally using different rules,
The results come out all the same
The winner wears a ribbon of black and blue.

She finds her ideal man
Out of sadness and frustration,
Every cut, every single contusion
Were a part of gentle persuasion;
How can you let him continue
To beat from you your pride,
Wiping away the blood and sweat
You finally concede and confide:
" Through the years I've been bad
And performed unspeakable acts,
This man I'm now living with
Wants me despite those facts;
Love is all I ever wanted
So, what's the occasional bout,
This man makes me feel good:
I become a nothing, without. "

Go on to You Might Not Run

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