Love (An Analysis)
Love is an act of selfishness.
How many of you out there know that? Am I wrong if you didn't
know? Think about it: Do you love for someone else's
benefit? Do you say " I am loving you for your own good, because I
think you need it."?
Humans love because the act of loving gives them a special energy, its
strength empowers our being, it makes life worth living. We
welcome it with eager, hopeful, open arms. We spend the better
part of our lives searching for it, for the perfect love. Not just
any love, mind you. Do we work this hard just for the benefit of
the other person? You love someone because they make you feel a
certain, special way. You don't feel that way for them, for their
well-being. "That's my man...." "She's my girl, too...." "The gosh
darn girl is mine...." "Nothing you can do can tear me away from my
guy...." Love songs are littered with this possessiveness.
Isn't this an act of selfishness? This woman/man is mine and you
can't have him/her
(though there are cases where people are in love but share each other
all the time but, if you look closely at those situations, love is not
being shared-- lust is the currency being exchanged). Now, if you
take this short rant to say I think love is bad.... you are wrong.
But that doesn't change this:
Love is an act of selfishness.
Maybe I say this to shed some light on this selfishness. Maybe I
shed some light on it to expose a side of it that hasn't really been lit
before. Love is something everyone should have at least
twice. You would hate to have one shot at it and have it not work
out. You need at least two tries to get it right. For some,
it does work out on the first try. These people are the lucky ones
and are the exception. There may be love at first sight but that
doesn't come with a lifetime guarantee of freshness. Love fades,
sometimes. Why? A person falls out of love. Do you
find that when that happens, people stay together for long? If it
is a marriage and there are children, you will see that happen.
Does that mean love isn't a selfish act? No. It still
is. Once love is gone, you cannot attribute anything to it.
If a couple isn't in love anymore but stays married for the children's
sake, it isn't about love anymore but about responsibility. Love
has left the scene. Maybe the couple pretends to be in love.
Maybe they put on a good show for the children and others. Love
is still gone. Once the love is gone, it moves from that arena to
another. I will say it again:
Love is an act of selfishness.
As selfish acts go, this is a good one. I don't condemn love or
talk badly behind its back. It can be both blanket and
dagger. It can be the key to the lock and it can be the harbinger
of disaster. It can be a godsend and it can be tragic. And I
say all these things with love sitting right beside me. And what
does love say in reply? Nothing. It can't. It's
intangible. Its spirit can occupy different things. It can
manifest itself in a ring. It can reveal itself through a
book. It can be expressed through physical means. It, of
itself, can't be touched, seen, smelled, tasted or heard. Humans
are the best conduit for this mystifying-- what? Ghost? For
it to be a ghost it must have owned a physical form at one time or
another. Muse? I think that is one of its attributes, not
its definition. This strange, wonderful thing. What is
it? Why do we have it? It's cruel and kind. It's
friend and enemy. It's companion and adversary. What is
it? Love is what you make of it.
7-29-00
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